As my beloved Lakers celebrated their championship yesterday with a proper parade, I instead chose to bask in the glory of having attended Game 7 with ‘the doc‘ and friends. The entire crowd was on the edge of their seats for 3+ quarters, but somehow, we all knew Kobe & Co. would pull off the victory…. right guys? By faaaaaar the most amazing night of my life; after my briss of course.

Stopped in the store yesterday and scooped up a hot, Lakers-approved tee myself…

In a shocking turn of events, everyone seems to be on Kobe’s you-know-what these days. First, The New York Times publishes an article claiming Kobe has been rival-less his entire career; Then, Shaq goes on the record by tweeting “I want kobe bryant to get number four, spread da word”; Even Mr. President himself goes on the record picking the Lakers, in six. But of course leave it to a journeyman nerd from Guadeloupe (where?) to make waves by deciding to ditch his Kobe sneaks in favor of Jordans. You know what Mickael Pietrus, good — you didn’t deserve to wear them anyways. Ironically, Kobe will be rivaling MJ’s legacy while dropping dimes on some ugly dude wearing #23′s kicks. The NBA — where “in your eye” happens.

(Photo courtesy of LATimes.com)

Gilberto is taking a well-deserved break from Texas in none other than sunny Los Angeles aka home sweet home. I am here for a week to primarily a) watch my boys (Lakers) and b) get ridiculously tanned (Palm Springs). At least that’s what I tell everyone. My real mission? Find the Korean BBQ Taco Truck you see above. I mean, let’s be honest: What’s more LA than a high quality mexican-korean fusion tricked-out gourmet truck? Above is my favorite dish, the short rib slider. Much love to the folks at Kogi BBQ for this distraction. More pics after the jump.

I have never been to Houston before (for a few reasons which we can discuss later) but for a Lakers playoff game you can get me to go almost anywhere. That said, tomorrow Gilberto and I are headed to see the Lakers pound down on the Houston Rockets in the second round of the playoffs. The series is tied 1-1.

Above is a view from our seats. If you are sitting in our section, after the first few minutes you will definitely feel extreme anxiety overcome you, followed by extreme anger, and eventually deep frustration. I cant wait to see y’all tomorrow! Section 124 baby.

“He can’t stop me!”

From timesoftheinternet.com:

It looks like Rihanna is moving on from Chris Brown. Rihanna was spotted at Mastro’s Steakhouse in Beverly Hills on Friday dining with Los Angeles Lakers player Andrew Bynum. This is the first time the 21 year old singer has been spotted on a date with someone since the whole incident with Chris Brown happened. Ever since the February 8 incident, which has left Brown charged with two felonies, he’s been an unpopular figure with many. Late Saturday night, Rihanna attended a party for LA Clipper Baron Davis at MyHouse. The party was being deejaed by DJ Cobra, who let it be known how he felt about Rihanna’s former flame, Brown.

“They looked very couple-y, sitting real close to each other in the car,” a source told X17.

(Photo courtesy of x17online.com)

I decided to drink away my sorrows last night over at Guys after the Lakers’ disappointing loss to Portland. Darren at the door was nice enough to let me in with four beautiful girls in hand (all of which were taller than me) after the Persian brothers from USC got in. The night got a little better once I finally got inside and the Jack was flowing through my veins.  Rod Stewart was there doing his thing with his son Sean who I went to school with back in the day at El Rodeo. How time flies. My boy DJ Devin Lucien was spinning some good music so I got me dance on for a little.  Gilberto all of the sudden helicoptered in out of nowhere and parachuted down to the courtyard of Guys with a grand entrance that cannot be beat. Unfortunately, before I knew it was 2 am and my four girls turned into one guy. On the way out the paparazzo was snapping some photos so I jumped on the bandwagon and joined them…only problem is I didn’t know who I was taking a picture of. More after the jump…

My buddy Andrew Bynum was found this past weekend “partying like a rockstar” at the Playboy mansion. Now I’m no team doctor but if Bynum is well enough to jump ropes and weight-lift playmates he should either be a) traveling with his team pimped-out on the sideline or b) working on his ability to stay healthy for longer than half a season. Going to Hef’s in a green smoking jacket and slippers is a big NO-NO. I’m trying not to be a hater here but the kid has not even given us one good season of pro basketball yet is frolicking around Playboy mansion like he won a championship. Who gives playmates rides on their back like they are the fucking head of a cho-choo train?

All I can say is T-R-A-D-E.

The Summer of 1999. Fred Segal’s Jean Bar was the only place to buy the cool denim; the Lakers were on the verge of a dynasty; Diesel was actually cool; Il Tramezzino hadn’t even expanded yet. Things in Los Angeles were good — real good. Gilberto was but a few months removed from high school and the future was limitless — and the same could be said for the length of his hair. You see, the summer of 1999 marked a period of “big hair” for Gilberto and his homies; the longer and bigger the hair, the more pride. The secret to the big hair wasn’t genetics, nor was it magic. It was all attributable to a genius hair product and a simple 3-step process.

Tancho is described on the packaging as “high-grade tique.” Unfortunately, according to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, “tique” isn’t a real word, which kinda makes sense because Tancho was always somewhat out-of-this-world anyways. Looking a little lower on the label we see the phrase “vegetable lavender.” Ummm, what? Well that is just plain gross so we will ignore that description completely. In my own words, Tancho is a an extra sticky, extra pungent neon green hair stick that is borderline impossible to remove from the hands. Or hair, for that matter. Or pillows. Or just about anything it came in contact with. But back then, if you wanted big hair say on Monday thru Friday, you needed to do the following:

1. Shower on Sunday night

2. Apply Tancho stick thoroughly and extensively to hair; pay extra attention to the sides and back

3. Sleep with a towel on your pillow

The result? Hands down the best big hair in town. You are guaranteed to have a level of sheen and big-ness that is unrivaled, and though my hair isn’t what it used to be (whatup, Propecia?), a day doesn’t go by without me reflecting on the big ol’ days. And the best part? One application would last for up to four whole days. Beat that, Bed Head.

So because Nike obviously hates Kobe Bryant and refuses to put out a good commercial with him in it, we have to settle for their work with LBJ and Tiger Woods. Nike’s “The Good Life” commercial is welcoming back Tiger to the PGA. And as usual, it’s amazing.

In case you were wondering, my vision for the Kobe commercial involves slow motion, close ups, killer cross-overs, a 1,000 piece orchestra and one high-arching fadeaway that splashes all over the net and water flies everywhere. And thats the tag line….”Splash.” You’re welcome Nike.

OK, so the phone is not an official Los Angeles Lakers product by any means, but I know my main man Kobe would approve. So would Jerry Buss. Shok made it official the other night that it is time to start thinking about Coachella, so this is the first move I think I’m gonna make on my mission to gear up for the desert. Make your own rendition at www.colorware.com. And at a price tag of $149 – $189, you may want to really try and not drop your phone wrecklessly on the concrete…again.

A few years ago, when Shaquille O’Neal was still a Laker, he and Jamie Foxx hosted a celebrity roast for the then-recently retired NFL superstar Emmitt Smith in Las Vegas. Numerous comedians, mostly black, ripped on or tried to rip on Emmitt & Co. but only one man — one white, Jewish man — stole the whole damn show: Jeff Ross. When someone asks me what the funniest stand-up act I HAVE EVER SEEN IS, this is the only thing that comes to mind. Hands down. Watch and die.

Shoutout to Mr. Lobel for this one, UofA steelos

I have a man-crush, and I’m not afraid to say it. He is the coolest guy I have ever met. OK, so I haven’t really ever met him but I feel like I know him. I’ve watched his performances, his interviews, all of his commercials, and I even wear his jersey to sleep when I’m lonely. I can even tell when he’s gotten a haircut just by a quick glance. I love Nike, he is Nike’s main man (sorry Bron). I love FC Barcelona, he’s practically their coach. I love the Lakers, Kobe bleeds purple and gold. I loved “Inside Man,” Kobe is doing a documentary with Spike Lee. And just when you thought there was trouble in Lakerland, homeboy goes off for 61 points and breaks (yet another) Jordan record. See where I am going with this? Kobe Bryant is the world’s coolest dude, and I love him.