Over the last several months, many a dispirited reader has approached me asking the most important of questions: “Gilberto, Perrier or Pellegrino?” Interesting question, with an more interesting answer in my opinion. According to a 2007 survey by pollsb.com, Pellegrino comes away a clear winner with 62.40% of the vote. To that I say “polls, shmolls.” Dig a little deeper and you will find there is no clear-cut winner. Sure the perrier bottle is sexier, but Pellegrino does come packaged in a more sophisticated getup. But the reality remains as such: Perrier is good alone, and Pellegrino is good with meals. Allow me to elaborate.

If you have ever woken up severely hungover and have had the luck of finding a nice, frosty Perrier in your refrigerator, then you know that NOTHING beats the crap out of your mouth/throat/lungs/veins than the extra-fierce carbonation. Delicious. It’s like Drain-O for the body. But try that same Perrier with Granny’s pot roast and you will find it just doesn’t do the trick. In fact, it kind of erases all the wild flavor running amock in your mouth. You see, Perrier is like a meal in and of itself. It refreshes, rejuvenates and most importantly, makes me feel like a little shirtless French boy in suspenders named Maurice prancing around my grandfather’s vineyards. Seriously though, it just doesn’t go well with food.

Don’t be alarmed, Pellegrino to the rescue! With a lower carbonation content and more of a salty flavor, Pellegrino provides the perfect complement to any dish. It’s almost as though it enhances the flavor, giving you the bubbles you desire without the color or carbonation that masks your taste buds. It’s also Italian, so skinny sideburns aside, it’s got its own cool factor. And of course, throw a lime in your Pellegrino and complete the perfect meal. Così delizioso!

The verdict? Gotta go with my inner-Maurice and against the polls. And since I’m on a no-food Coachella diet anyways these days, gotta go with my main man Perrier. Gotta love it.

Tags: agua con gas, bubbles, carbonated water, competition, France, French, gas, italian, Italy, lime, pellegrino, perrier, s.a. pellegrino, san pellegrino, versus, Water