Big Dreams. Big Money. Big Hair?

The Summer of 1999. Fred Segal’s Jean Bar was the only place to buy the cool denim; the Lakers were on the verge of a dynasty; Diesel was actually cool; Il Tramezzino hadn’t even expanded yet. Things in Los Angeles were good — real good. Gilberto was but a few months removed from high school and the future was limitless — and the same could be said for the length of his hair. You see, the summer of 1999 marked a period of “big hair” for Gilberto and his homies; the longer and bigger the hair, the more pride. The secret to the big hair wasn’t genetics, nor was it magic. It was all attributable to a genius hair product and a simple 3-step process.

Tancho is described on the packaging as “high-grade tique.” Unfortunately, according to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, “tique” isn’t a real word, which kinda makes sense because Tancho was always somewhat out-of-this-world anyways. Looking a little lower on the label we see the phrase “vegetable lavender.” Ummm, what? Well that is just plain gross so we will ignore that description completely. In my own words, Tancho is a an extra sticky, extra pungent neon green hair stick that is borderline impossible to remove from the hands. Or hair, for that matter. Or pillows. Or just about anything it came in contact with. But back then, if you wanted big hair say on Monday thru Friday, you needed to do the following:

1. Shower on Sunday night

2. Apply Tancho stick thoroughly and extensively to hair; pay extra attention to the sides and back

3. Sleep with a towel on your pillow

The result? Hands down the best big hair in town. You are guaranteed to have a level of sheen and big-ness that is unrivaled, and though my hair isn’t what it used to be (whatup, Propecia?), a day doesn’t go by without me reflecting on the big ol’ days. And the best part? One application would last for up to four whole days. Beat that, Bed Head.