Clappers Beware!

Last night gilberto and I scored a pair of tickets to the Mavs-Nuggets game and I reluctantly decided to go. Personally I am not a big Mavericks fan and I use every opportunity to bash on them….Why you may ask? Easy. They are heartless and watching them is about as entertaining as an episode of Lassie – except Lassie would always save the day (Listen up Jerk Nowitzki). We arrived somewhere around the end of the first quarter and gilberto decided to fold up one of the mini signs they give out when you first walk in and (voila!) he created a “clapper.” At first I thought he was the only one doing this, but soon after I realized the people behind me started “clap, clap, clapping,” and the next thing I knew the entire PLACE was doing it. Shit! Just Imagine the movie ’One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’, but instead all the loonies were handed clappers, fed beer, and jam packed in American Airlines Center. True insanity.

Now it’s one thing if you are sitting behind the basket and trying to distract the shooter, but for the love of god why do they have to give clappers out to everyone? I am convinced the random nerve-wracking usage of clappers is the sole reason for the Mavs being such a shitty team. About midway into the 2nd quarter we bolted because I was about to lose it.

If you have not had the luxury of attending a game at American Airlines Center, its basically like Staples Center (Borat: “NOT!”) except here the celebrities basically consist of Chuck Norris, the crappy Baldwin brother and the T. Boone Pickens-types. So if you are reading this (the Tony Parker look-alike sitting behind me with the stupid smerk and damn clapper)….go kill yourself because i almost did after leaving.