Selfish Style-Simpletons

Los Angeles has been experiencing what you could call a sociological renaissance; a new era of music, art and fashion has been emerging from our youth and moving into popular culture. Unfortunately, there are a significant few who have been polluting our visual landscape. These individuals are typically dim and choose to wear a particular brand of clothing, a brand that has created a platform of class-free casual wear – something both a stripper and a mortgage sales associate could be comfortable in. That brand is Ed Hardy.

There are many people out there that sport this classification of clothing. They are the same breed that allows Affliction and Monster Energy Drink to thrive. You yourself might be guilty of having purchased (and even worn) Ed Hardy. It may not be your fault though. You might just be too old to keep up and thought that an Ed Hardy shirt would match perfectly with the True Religions you recently purchased from Macy’s. Or maybe you had a lapse in judgment and only later realized that a bedazzled tiger on your long-sleeved shirt was not fresh at all? However, if you wore it on multiple occasions, there is a solid chance that I hate you.

If Ed Hardy were an underwear line or home furniture, it would not be so offensive. But, being a clothing label that has brainwashed our nation’s dullards, the innocent, cultured public has been subjected to seeing these people roaming around with giant illustrations of tigers that look like they were drawn by a gay Chinaman on ecstasy. This creates a visual eyesore for our beloved city and lowers our cultural integrity.

This is a pivotal moment in Los Angeles.  There has been a huge emergence of music and style flourishing through the streets of Hollywood, a movement we’ve been craving for over a decade.  Now we must stand up and focus our attention on ridding the world of the selfish style-simpletons littering our great city.  So dig through your closet and find all the accidental purchases of Ed Hardy and burn them.